lonelywhispers

I'm thinking.. Thinking of how I can ignore the pain..
In my mind..
In my soul..
The fear is sneaking up in my neck..
The fear of myself!

I wanna sleep through the life, this time i'm gonna wake up happy and live a good life!

But I'm not gonna live in this world..
I will live in my dreams!

I'm my dreams I'm the only one who can really say and do whatever I'd like to!
My dreams is my cure.. My SLEEP is my cure..

I can freely dream of anything I like!!!
So why can't I sleep forever and ever!
Help me cure my inner self..
Help me cure everything..

Jag är den som lever i mörkret utan någonstans att ta vägen...
Vart ska man vända sig?

Som sagt.. Jag är glad utåt men innåt ett uppror!
Nu för dem som inte förstår mina tankar på engelska kan få ett svenskt inlägg.
Jag hatar mitt liv som ni redan kanske märkt, hur ska man ta det med med personer som hotar en både mobilt och rakt upp i ansiktet, vad ska jag göra?

ingen hjälper mig.. men hoppas på en vändning så småning om.
en stark vändning!!
något som kan fixa..
något som kan hjälpa mig ur den där mörka tiden i mitt inre?

hur ska man göra när många säger "Jag vet hur du känner" och "Jag vet vad du menar" fast i själva verket så menar dem att dom TROR att dem vet.. SHIT THE SAME..
Dem personer som inte fattar vad jag går igenom så borde inte ens bry sig, det finns ändå inget sätt ni kan hjälpa mig.. såå..
nu är jag trött på att skriva och har även rast så, bye. c ya next time.

Nothing to say,
Nothing to do..

I will survive THIS day,
but tomorrow I will miss you!

Once I said "I love my life",
Now I say "I hate my life"..

I should have took the knive,
What else.. Should I raise?

No stars in the sky
One light in the dark
I can't see anything except my face
Nobody heard me
Nobody want to listen
Nobody awake
My voice just lose in the dark

In their world
I'm not alive
But I'm shouting in the dark
I'm shocking in the dark
I'm hiting in the dark

I wanna swallow the whole dark
I'll rip the dark
With my black knife

I saw a bleedingline
A shining line
It's the dawning of my life

WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW??
a person I knew one time has truely done hes last..
I'm tierd of walking around in my own school feeling scared!
All I have to say is THANKS to the teachers that's preotecting my ass..
I can't have it like this..
My life is a disaster!!!

I can't take it anymore..
I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT!

HELP ME SOMEONE, FUCK IT HELP ME!!

Ska jag skriva på svenska föe en gång skull?
Kan ingen hjälpa mig att komma ur mina fucking tankar om att ta livet av mig?
Tydligen inte eftersom att det ska ta sån jävla tid att dra fram alla provsvar av tester man gör.. jag mår så jävla piss, så please hjälp mig!!




Even I would look like this if this shit continues
And I will just be a memory..


If someone even will remember me..


I just wanna cry,
I just wanna take off,
But I really don't wanna die.
How am I compered to others?
I dont' know..
But I wanna take a rest..!

Remember me for who I am!




Not for who I WAS!!

jag saknar dig mer än allt på denna jord..
Egentligen vill jag bo hemma, bo med dig...
Men det är något som hindrar det, sitter och gråter nu med tunga fina minnen
 från dig och våra stunder!
Gymnasiet har startat nu och mina betyg ska läsas upp,
glöm aldrig att tårarna som jag nu fäller är ämnade för all saknad till dig <33

Alone I sleep,
And alone I wake,
Alone I dream, 
And alone I ache,

Alone I live,
And alone I cry,
Alone I think,
And alone I'll die,

Alone I try,
And alone I fall,
Alone I fail,
And alone I crawl,

Alone I break,
And alone I sit,

Alone I was,
Alone I am,
And alone I'll always be!!!




WHERE THE FUCK IS MY LIFE GOING!?

Sitting here and the memories flewing through my mind..
Feels SHIT like always!

I can't do anything.
It feels like i should give it up..
But, some people wants me to NOT give up,
But why?

No one loves me anyway

At least it feels like that.
Then what's up next?
Help me someone..

Just help me..
Everything's falling apart...

For those who want to know how I feel;

I feel like an raindrop falling from heaven down into the middle of the endless quiet ocean...
And then cause a storm of raindrops that represents other perople in the world.
It always makes me feel like I am the reson of all suicide and depression!

Old Times... I Feel exactly like the style I had.. That's my heavy feelings I'm trying to escape!

In the silent space of my heart
I hold you
know you are going

forevermore apart

I keep you
in a silent space in my heart

You are dying
I am not crying

But inside a silence
I hold you
know you are dying
I keep you
while you are going
I hold you
I hope you know it

silent grieving, silent loving

I can't keep you
you are going

In the sacred space of my heart
I hold you
wish you peaceful passage
you are ravaged
you are dying
I'm not crying

In a sacred space in my heart
I will hold you
keep you
and wish you peaceful passage

You are in a still room
dying
I am at home
my heart open
listening
I am gripped
by the feeling
of your presence
Are you visiting?

I listen
with my heart
Is this your final visit -
a final step
in your passage
before you go
while staying
in the silent space
of my heart

The phone rings

I am told
of your passage

No more breathing
Time for grieving
while I hold you
in my heart

In the silent space of my heart
I hold you
In a silent space in my heart
I keep you
In the sacred space of my heart
I hold you
In a sacred space in my heart
I will hold you

forevermore

It stalks the night
It stalks the day
It seeks out life
And whisks it away
It's known as death
And other things too
But it's all the same
What matters is you.
How do you see it?
What does it mean?
It's best if you know
For death is unseen.
It can take you at day
It can take you at night
Knowing death well
Can lend you some light
The passage to death
Is always unclear
And it's best to know
That you're very near.
For death is at hand
It is for us all
Know it's face well
So you don't stumble and fall
Now think hard on death
And know that it's near
And the meaning of life
Will be all to clear
And that is to live
For your hearts desire
Not to stumble or fall
But to burn with a fire.
A fire for life
To live for each day
To reach for your dreams
No matter what people say
Life is a question
And death holds a clue
Reach not for the answer
For your life's not due
Live for the moment
And die for it too
For it's the moment that counts
It, and you
Now I'm all done
I've said what I'll say
Just remember one thing
Live for the day!

What am I suppose to do with my life?
What's my purpose?
I can just feel the cold metal on a knife close to my throat,
resting on my skin and waiting for blood.
I think i should give up..
Or should I continue breathing for my life to turn page to normality?
It's too hard for me to understand what I should do!
I can't just sit here and feel bad about myself all the fucking time!
I had alot off goof times with you all.
But some shit always happens.
I hope my new home will find out that I ain't that person that sits and cut himself up!
I'm oly the myself,
Only the lonely and dark person who's trying to desperate find new good frinends.
But i know one day I will sit here and try to find....

New ways to take my life.

Always so alone..
Always In the dark,
Always the cold feeling In my mind..
How should i take this shit?
NO ONE will ever find out,
NO ONE will ever know me for real!!
It's too hard to describe how i really feel,
Because no one really cares about me?


Soon maby I'll have to say goodbye.


<3